Dearest parents,
Happy school holidays! I hope you’re staying warm and dry in this wild and woolly weather… It’s a great time of year to cuddle up on the couch in front of the fire with a good book – or to spend hours in front of a screen! ;-)
From my own experience during the Easter break and many chats with other parents, I realise that keeping the balance with screentime during school holidays can be quite a challenge. In fact, it is such a widespread issue, that the University of South Australia recently conducted a study[1] about exactly this topic. The researchers (unsurprisingly) found that primary school aged children were less active, ate more unhealthy food and spent more time in front of screens during school holidays... Can you relate? I can!
I also learned that today one in four children in Australia (every third child in the U.S.) is overweight or obese. Screentime is one of the biggest risk factors for children’s inactivity, unconscious snacking and exposure to junk food ads.
When the holidays come around, children are excited about spending some quality downtime, getting a break from classroom routines and from having to be ready on time in the morning. I believe it’s very important for them to have these breaks. However, easy entertainment by screens is not a healthy way to fill their additional free time, as it often doesn’t lead to them feeling balanced and content at the end of the day. For children, sitting in front of a screen frequently replaces active play, spending time together with their friends or family or being outdoors surrounded by nature (aka some of the key things they need to feel well).
Keeping screentime consistent
In our house, we don’t make a difference concerning screentime during weekends and holidays compared with school days. This is mainly so that school days don’t seem (even) less attractive (if there was no or less screentime on top of having to go to school on those days). We have a “screentime contract” in place, that settles all the agreements we have made with our children about their use of screens. It gets adjusted from time to time and has been working incredibly well. (I talk about screentime contracts in more detail in my “Healthy Screentime Habits” seminar).
Our children have laptops set up at a designated space near the lounge room to play video games at an agreed time and for an agreed duration (they self-manage). They can choose playing whichever game they like, as long it fits our agreed content criteria. We also have two older tablets they use for music, audio books and reading graphic novels online.
Screentime-creep
At the beginning of the last school holidays we did, however, experience what I call “screentime creep”. The children started asking for small “exceptions” throughout the day more and more often (especially when I was busy and easier to extract a “yes” from). They wanted to read a comic book only available at the online library, listen to music on Spotify or quickly search something up on Google that they wanted to know about. All reasonable requests. Consequently, the use of the tablets increased considerably. They were soon switched on straight after breakfast, taken into the children’s bedroom and even into the bathroom - all “to listen to music”. Before we knew it, we had some sort of screentime extension outside of their regular screentime going here, big time.
How did this start? I think it was a combination of the rainy weather outside and of “agreeable” non-gaming content such as music and books being online now.
I observed the growing use of the mobile devices and noticed how the kids got distracted and “stuck” behind the screen after their original requirement to use it was long met. I also noticed that the children’s motivation to do other things reduced drastically. Why think of something to do on a rainy day if you can just pick up a tablet and be entertained instantly, and for hours (or for as long as your parents let you)?
Suddenly not many everyday activities seemed to trump the digital offerings anymore. At the same time, the number of little squabbles between the siblings, something we rarely experience anymore, increased as well.
I started feeling frustrated having to ask them to get off the screen and at their growing overall sluggishness. I realised that we had gotten onto the wrong path. More screen was not better. It was unsatisfying, never enough and made the kids (and all of us) grumpy. I knew: We had to change something!
Getting back on track
So, we all sat down and talked at dinner about our observations and what we could do to get back into balance. We also explained to the boys we preferred not having to play the “screen-police”, because it’s unpleasant for everyone. First, they suggested that for every hour of screentime they could do an hour of active play or exercise. We ended up dropping this idea, as managing that would be quite involved and time consuming. Plus, even if the weather was good, the idea that after 3+ hours at the skatepark they would flop down for 3+ hours of screentime seemed not ideal.
Then our 9-year-old surprisingly suggested that we should maybe put the tablets away for a while, as the temptation was simply “too much” for him. We agreed to try a few tablet-free days. Their normal screentime on their laptops was kept as is.
The result was incredible! It was as if a heavy lid had been lifted off them (and us!). Suddenly the kids became creative again. Out came the Lego, the puzzles, the wood-working tools, drawing materials and skipping ropes etc. We could relax. The boys were so much more content. They moved a lot more. And they realised it. They haven’t asked for the tablets to come back out since, even now that the next school holidays have started. Instead, they have kept their creativity and activity levels up. This has been an excellent learning opportunity for all of us.
Recommendation
During school holidays, most children have more unstructured time and less supervision from and interaction with parents (who often still need to work). I can highly recommend keeping their usual screentime to its regular time and duration during the holidays as well as establishing clear rules around screentime. To make them effective, these need to be negotiated and agreed upon on par with your children, in a series of conversations, a bit like real life contract discussions (rather than just imposed by parents).
Mobile devices like tablets and phones make managing (and for kids resisting) screentime harder because they move around with us (whereas a PC, gaming console attached to a big screen or laptop at a designated spot don't).
Adding more structure to children’s days during the holidays helps as well. We can let our children think about and help them organise activities that get them active and out of the house (like playdates with friends, spending time outside in nature (even in the rain), holiday classes or camps etc).
Of course, it’s fun to watch a movie when the wind is howling and it’s raining outside, and it can be a lovely thing to do with the family or friends! (Please check out my last blog post about the important difference between watching movies and playing video games).
Less regular or properly prepared meal/snack times add to the consumption of junk food. I encourage planning and preparing lunch and snacks in advance (especially if you’re away working for the day) and clearing your pantry of too many unhealthy snacks and sweets.
Screens aren’t bad in themselves, and they’re here to stay. We just need to help our kids keeping the human connection going while navigating the digital world by supporting them developing healthier screentime habits now and for the long term.
I’d love for you to get in touch with me to share your feedback and comments, or if you’d like some help on the way to becoming the parent you want to be.
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Till next time!
Much love
Anke
[1] Amanda Watson et al: Children’s activity and diet behaviours in the summer holidays vs. school year, Paediatric Obesity (2023)
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